Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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