I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
