I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
