you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
