I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
