help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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