check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
