Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Randomize
