Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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