u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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