i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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