Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
