I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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