I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Randomize
