i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
