i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
