wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
