***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
