I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
