turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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