he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
