that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
