She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
