I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just found puke in my bra..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
