I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sext me about skeletons
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize