I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
