there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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