I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
