4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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