you guys were way drunker than both of me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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