Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
