Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I could fuck to npr.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
as a side note pls kill me
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