How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
