she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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