I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
