508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
