He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
