They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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