I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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