Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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