ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She even gives head with a lisp.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just pee around me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
