haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I want a musical about memes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
