He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
