I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
