Can i not drive my cunt home
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
