So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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