You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
