I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
