He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
