1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
