Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
