I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
