Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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