this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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