when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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