I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the day after is always just damage control
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
