Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
