Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
