Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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