My friends, they love my intelligence
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
