I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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