you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
