In the future we'll all be gay
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
