Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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