we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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