Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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