he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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