Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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